Freeing Ourselves from Ourselves

Independence Day is a celebration of freedom in gratitude for many of the political, religious and personal privileges unprecedented in many other parts of the world.  But despite these wonderful gifts many are imprisoned, abused, neglected and tortured. 

These are not physical abuses or even mental or emotional assaults from others, but from our habitual self talk.  These are the internal dialogues that play in the background while we go about our daily lives. We judge the traffic, weather, our bosses other drivers and most of all we judge ourselves.   Considered normal, innocuous and in fact necessary, they judge and monitor, compare and contrast, reflect and project, all in an effort to “make sense of it all”.  Instead of freeing us to simply “be” as children are, they project a set of requirements on ourselves and others that undermine the pure pleasure of being “here now”. 

How often do your thoughts take you away from peace?  Ekhart Tolle, along with many others, has described our minds as the inner tormentors for which we have developed little discipline to quiet their disparaging monologue.  If we are to enjoy the real freedom this holiday was dedicated to celebrate, we must begin with Freeing Ourselves from Ourselves.

Here are a few steps that WILL help you add more celebration to this day and every day.

Notice not what you think, but how you think.  Do your thoughts bring you peace or pain?  If they bring you pain and they are your thoughts, why did you put them there?  You believe there is some value to the pain or you would not give it to yourself.  Ask yourself what is the purpose.  Do you believe that it would be irresponsible not to worry?  Do you believe past regressions require guilt or that those of others deserve blame and resentment?  Is the best way to predict your future a reflection of your past?

The truth is we not only believe these things we have proof.  We can all regurgitate the childish folly of those who have not followed the path of dower countenance.  Or vividly recall the narcissists and sociopaths whose lives lack the moral fortitude of guilt, regret and remorse.  And the list we have of those to judge and blame is added to with every transgression multiplied by indignation.

The fact that we have evidence of the value of these destructive thoughts only demonstrates our ability to create that which we expect.  Worry does not make us more responsible but less response-able.  Regret only draws us toward that which we relive with each remembrance.  Guilt and blame are chains to a past that is unchangeable.  Nothing you can do or have ever done has changed the past.  To resent anything or anyone is a denial of now.  When we resist what is or resent what was we are telling ourselves we are “less than” whatever the person or situation presents.  Would you want any child to be constantly told they are “less than”?  To this day I remember overhearing my third grade teacher Mrs. Griesen in parent teacher conference tell my parents “don’t worry, Randy will be fine”. 

Regardless of our age, experience or accomplishments, we all need the same kind of reassurance and we need it most of all from ourselves.  Real freedom is not something that comes from a declaration from without but from a dedication within.  A dedication to accepting yourself and others unconditionally, to appreciating the lessons life brings and taking action to heal the world by healing yourself.